Imagine this scenario:

You’ve had a crush on a boy for a while. The two of you start talking and then he asks you to be his girlfriend. He wants to take things to the next level.

You say yes because things have been going well so far, but the truth is you don’t really know what the next level involves.

Soon your boyfriend always wants to meet you in secret and late at night in his room.

You don’t really feel comfortable with this. You aren’t ready to have sex and it seems like that’s what he’s interested in.

Now you need to talk to him about how you really feel and decide whether to stay in the relationship or not.

It feels like such a big decision. One too big to make on you own. So who do you talk to about it and how do you approach them?

Here’s some advice from your big sisters at Springster:

1. Choosing the right person

You want someone who you are comfortable around and who you can rely on to give you truthful answers. Whoever you decide to speak to, make sure they are:

• Trustworthy
• Experienced
• Non-judgemental

You need to choose someone who is understanding and who will not judge you. You don’t want anyone to make you feel ashamed or guilty when you haven’t done anything wrong.

2. Time to open up

If there’s something troubling you, speaking about it can help you process your feelings. Opening up will require you to be brave but you will feel better after if you talk to the right person. Here’s how to do it:

• Don’t be shy or ashamed to talk about boys. Remember mums, aunties and older relations have all been through the same thing you are going through right now. They understand, so relax and be brave!

• Find a quiet and calm place so there won’t be many distractions, and ensure whoever you’re talking to is in a good mood and not stressed.

• Practice what you are going to say. If you’re afraid you’ll panic or get nervous in the moment it’s perfectly fine to practice what you will say in front of the mirror. Writing it down also helps.

Life is too complicated to do it on your own. If you need support with big decisions don’t be afraid to talk to someone about it!